I need to tell you about the 'Crab Man'. So Judy and I were on the beach. It was very windy, we were using three chairs. Two in the shade, one in the sun.
Down the beach comes this little old couple. These people are so sweet, they make my teeth ache. They are clearly in love. They see one empty chair beside our three, and claim it. Yes, I know. We gave them our extra chair. Now they are the happiest people on the beach. They love us. They don't speak English. We don't speak French. There's a lot of smiling and hand gesturing. We look honest, so they smile, point, nod, and know that we will protect their belongings while they swim. Thirty seven seconds later they are back sunbathing on their chairs. What about the crab?
Judy and I have spent the week on the beach, reading. I happen to glance down and there's this shell walking between my chair and Mr. Happy Frenchman. I pick it up and put it between Judy and I for a photo shoot. Clearly, my new friend is curious about what I picked up. So, I placed it back where I found it so he might also enjoy the little beastie. He became very excited. I figured out that he was asking if I wanted it.....he called me Mademoiselle. Bless him!
Next thing I know, he's taking the poor little critter over to show his wife. He's smiling, talking, pointing at me. She's saying thank you. I know that word. He's sticking poor Mr. Crab into the back pocket of his swim trunks. We're horrified. Not only will this nice man get grabbed in the butt, but the little crab is going to croke. So I get up and go over to the man. Excuse me sir, but there's an animal in the shell. He nods. I make more hand gestures. I point to his rear end. He nods some more. They leave shortly after that. Judy and I would be the middle aged (yes, we are! Be quiet!) woman on the beach giggling like idiots. "Hey lady we gave you husband crabs." "Honey, why does our luggage smell so funky?" "what's that bitting my butt???" Maybe you had to be there.
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